


My Waxy Valentine

by dollsome



Category: 30 Rock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-12
Updated: 2011-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-22 13:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollsome/pseuds/dollsome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is a weird idea for a date," Liz announces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Waxy Valentine

"This is a weird idea for a date," Liz announces.

Wesley snorts. "Agreed."

"What? Wesley, this was _your idea_. Your weird, creepy, totally unsurprising idea."

"Well, forgive me for trying to do something special for my lady fair. Fear not: I shan't do it again."

"A) I know you're just saying 'shan't' because you're showing off that you can, whereas when I and all other Americans say it it just sounds douchey and weird, so knock it off, and B) What?? Why would you think I would like this?"

"Oh, give it up, Liz. It's too late now to pretend that you didn't tell me about your erotic fondness for wax figures. That's not the kind of thing a man just forgets. And forget it I shan't. (It does have a nice ring, doesn't it? When I say it, I mean? You probably shouldn't try.)"

"Okay, that was _one_ wax figure! One! Can I help it if John Stamos looks even better that way? _No._ And I told you that in confidence!"

"Don't worry. I haven't told anyone else. Yeesh. This one's particularly hideous, isn't it?"

"So we are on a date at a wax museum because ... you want to make fun of me?"

"We are on a date at a wax museum," Wesley says, "because you've seemed especially harried lately, my sweet -- mentally as well as leggily -- and I thought a nice romantic afternoon might be just what the apothecary prescribed."

"Doctor ordered."

"Well, yes, if you want to talk like one of those Jersey Shore ruffians," Wesley scoffs.

"So this is you being nice to me?" Liz tests, giving him her most scrutinizing stare. There's a reason they call her the Human Lie Detector. Or, okay, they don't, but -- there's a reason they could. If she worked a little harder on her most scrutinizing stare.

"Well, yes," Wesley says. No apparent signs of baldfaced lying.

"You are so bizarre," Liz decides.

"Whereas you are a portrait of exquisite normalcy," Wesley says, and pulls -- a piece of lettuce out of her hair. Damn it.

"Where did that even come from?" Liz wonders. "Neither of us had lettuce with lunch."

"I'm starting to think it might originate from your scalp," Wesley says, peering curiously down at said scalp. Idiot.

"Just what every girl wants to hear."

"Probably not every girl," Wesley says fairly, "but _you_ are special."

"Special, huh?" Liz slips her hand into his. "Like a snowflake?"

"Or a mental asylum escapee," Wesley says. "Or one of those monkeys who can play the cymbols on command, and wears a little hat--"

Liz turns her attention to the wax figures, which are less annoying. "They don't have a John Stamos, do they?"

"They do indeed," Wesley says. "Second floor. I made sure to check beforehand."

Why is he so awesome sometimes. WHY.

"You are gettin' some tonight, mister," Liz says, poking his arm.

Wesley raises an eyebrow, in a way that makes Liz think the word 'scallawag.' It is equal parts doofy and ... strangely attractive. "Tonight?"

They barely make it to second base before they get kicked out for lewd behavior by the wax museum employees (a.k.a. _dictators_ ).

Still: overall, pretty good date.


End file.
